American Sparkling Water

(5 stars) • 10 trillion reviews
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The world’s first zero carb, zero alcohol, zero taste... “beer”. Looks like a beer, feels like a beer, taste’s like premium American sparkling water. Ah!

  • It’s quite literally not beer. It’s sparkling water.
  • Proprietary blend of H2O purified through reverse-osmosis
  • Infused with minerals & electrolytes for taste and optimal hydration
  • Perfectly carbonated
  • Infinitely recyclable aluminum cans
  • Made in America
People often ask, “Surely there must be a bad time to drink Not Beer?” Yet our answer remains: “No, there is quite literally never a bad time”.

No matter the occasion, drinking Not Beer is guaranteed to ensure a good time.
Working from home
Feeding the Instagram prop
Unnecessary tipping
Liver failure
Operating heavy machinery
Shopping with the GF

Our reviews are almost too good to be true.

“Wow! Finally a beer without the beer taste!”
“Whoever created this is a genius.”
“It’s great for the environment, and it helps me feel 26 over, and over, and over again”
“I love that I can finally drink on the job.”
“In Germany, we call it water. I drink it every day.”
“Drinking Not Beer finally made my dad proud of me.”
“Drinking Not Beer saved my marriage.”
“I had 99 problems. Not Beer solved every one of them.”
“This product sucks!”
A generic water bottle
Us vs. Them
Made in America
Infinitely Recyclable
Does not fund terrorism
A generic water bottle
Not Made in America
Single-Use Plastic
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Things people ask us…

What is Not Beer?

It is quite literally not beer! It’s water :)

Why did you remove the beer taste?

Oh, you noticed! Well, we like to keep things interesting. And hydrating. Beer tastes pretty good – but just like that fling, the flavor gets old after a while. So we thought, what if we removed the flavor, so that you can drink this all day, every day?

What does it taste like?

Delicious, pure sparkling water.

Will drinking Not Beer save my marriage?

Not Beer has already saved thousands of marriages, so you might as well try.

We can’t guarantee that Not Beer is the magical elixir for marital bliss but hey, it can’t hurt right? Picture this: you and your significant other, sipping on Not Beer, having a laugh about the fact that you're not really having beer. It's like a relationship trust fall – you might find out you don’t actually like each other or you might fall even more madly in love!

And who knows, maybe the taste of crisp H2O will spark some deep conversations. You can ponder the important questions in life, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza or if crocs leak people’s dignity with each hole. Choose your own adventure.

What are the ingredients?

Carbonated Purified Water (by Reverse Osmosis), Electrolyte and Mineral Blend (Potassium Chloride, Potassium Bicarbonate, Magnesium Sulfate, Calcium Chloride, Himalayan Pink Salt). Brewed with the spirit of our founding fathers and the feeling of a long weekend, our sparkling water has the essence of a tailgate, a hint of summer sunshine and a whole lot of ‘merica.

I don't like Not Beer. What should I do?

Seek immediate help. There are plenty of resources online to find a good neurologist. Your primary care physician should be able to give you a referral as well. This is likely an early sign of dementia.